Le deuil illustré (Illustrated Grief): a book that sheds light on the grieving process

The story begins in the mind of a young woman who has just lost someone important to her. Lost and confused, she talks to her grandfather, her source of inspiration. The young woman is mourning her mother, and he is mourning his daughter. The grandfather was a social worker and used images to help his clients cope with grief. So he talks to his granddaughter in this way. He encourages her to talk about her emotions. Readers are witnesses to this “pictorial conversation.”

As a social worker, I would help one family at a time, regularly using images to discuss grief with the people I was counselling: storms, waves, waterfalls, beaches, etc. But I wanted to reach more families. Some settings that are neither hospices nor end-of-life care facilities and do not have psychosocial counselors to care for the bereaved deserve to have access to a tool.

When I was counselling individuals whose loved ones were dying, they were caught up in their emotions and remembered little of our conversations. However, when I used images, people would talk to me about them again: “You know, François, now, on my boat, the waves are calmer!” People of all ages can remember images when they are easy to remember, simple, and evocative. It is for them that I came up with Le deuil illustré.

Everyone who experiences grief must learn to navigate their new life without their loved one. Each person who has been a caregiver must go through a period of adjustment that varies in length depending on the situation. It’s not about “moving on,” but rather about having no choice but to continue, in a different way. Often, the more intense our role as a caregiver has been, the greater the potential for storm clouds to gather on the horizon.

The book can also be useful before death, when people are anticipating their reactions once death occurs. How can I readjust after the death of the person I am caring for? What will my reactions be? Waterfall, river, or fjord? There is no right or wrong way to grieve: you will react as you see fit to react.

How can you talk about your grief, and what words should you use? “How is your grief today?” doesn’t fit well into a conversation, but “Are you more green, yellow, or red flag these days?” opens up the conversation. How does one allow oneself to follow one’s own pace and emotions? How does one care for someone without judging them? Le deuil illustré is a crucial resource, with tools specifically designed to meet their needs. It helps bereaved individuals understand their emotions and reactions, normalize their unique experiences, and helps them identify whether they need professional help or support.

Absolutely. The book itself is a tool, as are the images. I wanted to design this book to provide practical help to people who are grieving, caregivers, and professionals who work with people who are grieving. Without replacing a specialist, the book informs, normalizes, and educates readers about the grieving process.

The book allows stakeholders to connect with the person using simple images. As the grieving process progresses and feelings and reactions change, people can refer to the book and use it as a guide. It also helps facilitate conversation, because talking about grief isn’t easy! How can we talk about it? How are you feeling today? How are the waves at your beach? Have they posted the green, yellow, or red flag? I really like flags, which is why I included them in the self-observation tools!

I grew up around the St. Lawrence River. We often left my house to go to the banks of the Montmorency River and near my grandparents’ house to visit Montmorency Falls. These places had a big impact on me. Some people experience grief with a lot of tears. It’s very “graphic,” like waterfalls… Others process their grief internally. The Saguenay Fjord is an important and iconic junction in Québec. When you cross it by boat on your way to Tadoussac, all you can see with the naked eye is the fjord flowing into the river. It can feel like they’re one and the same, when in fact there’s a huge flow of movement beneath the surface. There is so much happening below the surface, invisible to the eye…

I wanted to root the story in Québec. With the fjord and Montmorency Falls on the north side of the river, I needed a river on the south side. I searched high and low. When I arrived in Saint-Ulrich and saw the Blanche River, I said to myself, “That’s the one!”

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The last one in the section Vivre le deuil ensemble (Living through grief together). The wise old man and the grieving girl are in each other’s arms, watching the sunset. For me, it illustrates the importance of talking about grief together and not judging.

This page touches me so much because I sent the illustrator a photo of my two children, who were three and five at the time, in front of a sunset on the Dune du Pilat in France. I love this photo, and it was a big inspiration for Elisabeth when she created the final image for the book. I think it’s beautiful.

These videos were made for greater accessibility; some people don’t have the energy to read a book. The content is identical to the book, with the voices of singer and actress Mélissa Bédard (a real young bereaved person and honorary ambassador for Deuil-Jeunesse) and retired social worker Réjean Carrier (a true wise man), with music provided by Antoine Bédard (author of Mettre la mort à l’agenda : récits de fin de vie). These videos were created in collaboration with l’Appui and will be released in the fall of 2025.

Yes, I hope people will feel inspired too. To take the time to breathe, to experience my emotions, to talk about what I’m going through, to stop and experience my emotions. Go to the river, spend time in the outdoors, breathe! Take the time to let yourself live what you have to live, and talk about it with the people close to you. And if the storm persists, if its intensity doesn’t diminish over time, or if grief is interfering with your ability to function, don’t hesitate to consult a professional.

• Le deuil illustré (100 pages)
• Vivre le deuil ensemble (Living through grief together) : the page chosen by François in his book
• Buy the book in paper format or download it for free
• Printable version of self-observation and reflection tools for the bereaved and the persons who are caring for them
• Maison Michel-Sarrazin
• Elisabeth Thomassin Demers, illustratrice, graphiste
• Bereavement and post-care
• When my emotions are overwhelming
• Find resources

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