“Young people don't know how to qualify the support they provide”

I was already working at La Passerelle in Nicolet when I was introduced to the Aider sans filtre project. I realized that it resonated with me. I have a child's heart and I move around a lot in life. I need to get out in the field, meet people, be active and get out of the 'office' environment.

The Aider sans filtre program helps young people between the ages of 12 and 29 to deal with their vulnerabilities. They sometimes normalize things that aren't normal, such as taking on the role of parent (known as parentification) or developing a codependency with a parent with a mental health issue.

The project aims to raise awareness of mental health and its impact on their lives. The role of the outreach and support counselors is to help them come to terms with who they are, what they can do to stay healthy, both physically and mentally, and to discover themselves as complete human beings. Sometimes I even explain to them what it means to be a child! Teenagers often don't know what mental health is. The younger we start talking to them openly about mental health issues, mental health problems and caregiving, the more they become aware and more open-minded. I hope I'm sowing a small seed that will help them to blossom.

Sometimes at a very young age, they take on a parenting role that can last well into adolescence. They adopt the role of savior, even with their friends, as soon as they spot certain traits that resemble the person they're caring for. I try to help them out of this impasse, which causes them to develop a form of anxiety.

I'm thinking of a young girl. She approaches another child who is getting off playground equipment without any problem, saying: “Wait, I'll help you get off! She's in the mothering mode..." This little girl takes care of her mommy. She worries about anything that could cause a problem: taking medication, having a seizure, etc. She has a lot of anxiety: she's afraid of once again losing her mother, who suffers from borderline personality disorder. At school, she's bullied a lot. The others know that her mother was unavailable and hospitalized for several months. Currently, her mother is doing well. If we tell her that her mother is doing her best to be well because she cares about her daughter, she shuts down to suppress her emotions.

If I tell a young person that they're a caregiver, it clearly doesn't work. In fact, they don't know how to qualify the support they provide, because they have no choice and for them, this is a normal thing to do. They think that if you're a caregiver, you've made the decision to be one, whereas when you live with the person you're helping, you have no choice.

So, I talk to them about the impact on their lives, and I try to redefine and demystify the different roles, to make them understand that they are doing more than other children. I tell them that telling a parent: “It's 7 a.m., you need to take your medication” is neither normal nor their responsibility. I use a CAP santé mentale grid detailing tasks according to the child's age. I'm often surprised at the extent to which they've stopped seeing their friends because of a lack of time.

Very often, they don't ask for help, or only ask for help sporadically. When I do outreach work in youth centers, sometimes a teenager will ask me if they can talk to me about their situation. So, if it happens, it happens; we talk and if I detect that there's a need for help, I give them my business card. It fits nicely in a pocket without everyone seeing it or passing judgment. I have to do a lot of presentations and sit on several committees to get the word out about Aider sans filtre and gather referrals, otherwise young people wouldn't come to us. Young people in their twenties, on the other hand, are more likely to contact us.

Raising awareness doesn't always lead to an intervention. With Aider sans filtre, I've realized that if a young person comes to me to talk about their situation, that's already a form of support. Listening to them means intervening. I hadn't thought of it that way at first! Listening is an integral part of my role as an outreach and support counselor. Listening is part of who I am, and sometimes young people just need that.

With Aider sans filtre, I put my creativity to work designing visual material and games. I put myself in young people's shoes: they like to have fun and win! To break the ice, I created a game called "Vérité et actions" (Truth and actions). The "Truth" cards deal with mental health, mental disorders, emotion management and caregiving. The actions, for example, consist of playing music that puts you in a good mood, or telling someone about their strengths. I started from scratch and spent a lot of time on it. I developed several activities and shared them with the Aider sans filtre outreach and support counselors in our community of practice.

The biggest challenge is adapting to the different age groups. Meeting a 12-year-old and a 20-year-old doesn’t require the same level of information.

Another challenge is the vast territory of the Nicolet-Yamaska RCM and the Bécancour RCM. My head office is in Nicolet. If a teenager is in Sainte-Sophie de Levrard, they won’t come—it’s up to me to go to them!

I also have to work with young people’s ambivalence. They don’t necessarily want to leave their comfort zone. It can be confrontational to be told that what they’re experiencing isn’t normal. When I talk to them, I’m transparent and sincere. I share my own experiences with them; I’ve been around people with mental health problems. That’s how I work. I think that whatever the type of intervention or the person to be met, transparency is the best approach!

• Aider sans filtre;
• Tâches selon l’âge de mon enfant;
• Being a young caregiver;
• Being a caregiver for your brother or sister;
• Caring for someone whose mental state poses a danger;
• Resource directory.